Tower Time comes in many forms and experiences.
It can come in the form of sickness, the death of a loved one, or losing a job.
And sometimes it’s a doe that runs across the road while you’re driving by and smacks into your car, totaling it, while you are far, far away from home.
That was my latest experience of Tower Time, that I’ve just come out of.
Over the last few days I’ve been tried and tested by this particular experience. I share most of that story here, on my other substack, The Men’s Mysteries, but over here I thought I would focus on one particular aspect of this experience that I’m carrying with me as I continue to plunge deeper into the mysteries of Tower Time.
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The Tower Fell and the Descent Began
When you’re on top of the world, you feel like nothing can go wrong. Here I was driving home from a trip to visited my beloved
. We’d spent a blissful month together, experimenting with magic, exploring the Kootenays (her home region) and making plans for Magical Experiments (keep your eyes peeled!).I was sad to leave, but also feeling happy and inspired by all the amazing experiences. I was on top of the world…until I wasn’t.
It was daytime. Normally deer don’t come out then, but that hot Saturday I watched one doe cross the road. Then the other one I didn’t see leapt out and ran into my car. A few moments later my car was dying and I was falling from the tower.
A fall from the tower is always a journey and its’ always humbling. We don’t expect tower times. We probably should, but we don’t and one of the biggest illusions most people provide themselves is the sense that everything is under their control, when the reality is that under the wrong circumstances you can quickly realize just how little control you have over your experience.
I certainly did. I got towed to a small town 7 hours away from my home, where I didn’t know anyone and there was no easy way to get to the nearest city, with the rental car agency or get my car looked at (Read the full story here)
I experienced a lot in the course of 48 hours, but the biggest lesson was around surrendering control in order to discover possibility.
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Surrendering Control to Discover Possibility
The whole experience was liminal, with a string of kindness from strangers and friends that brought me the resources I needed in a moment when I didn’t have much control.
And the truth is I really didn’t have a lot of control.
But I had a choice.
I could react or I could respond.
I chose to respond. I chose to surrender control and be in the moment with presence. And I wasn’t bypassing the experience. It was a hard situation to be in, and one I won’t ever forget.
I reminded myself verbally a few times to let go of control. I used EFT tapping to help me in the moments when I started to feel anxious and upset. I meditated for a couple hours and did some deep somatic releasing.
I let go of control and chose surrender and through it I found freedom. My freedom came in the form of a plan that allowed me to get the results I needed - My car towed to Spokane, with me riding with the tow truck driver and getting home.
That might not seem like an impressive result, but after spending tow days in a small town, with my car at a shop that was 2 miles away and not easily accessible, getting everything to come together took some work. The first part of the process though was letting go of control and accepting I was in tower time. It was hard being in tower time. It always is. But it’s also liberating, because when we let go of control that’s when we discover what’s behind the curtain, and create the new realities we need.
I got home. My car is possibly totaled and I’ll have to figure out some details, but I’m home and I walked away. It could have been a lot worse…and this experience reminded me again of just how illusory our sense of control really is, and how important it is to fully give into the experience in order to create the results we need.
And just in case you missed it, here’s the full story:
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